Dr. Figg is honored!

I awakened this morning a bit later than usual. I slept poorly due to the lingering upset at my exposure to the vile Scorpion Mezcal. I had to consume nearly an entire bottle in order to assure myself that it was an inferior product in every way to proper mezcal with a proper worm. This left me unable to carry out my normal ministry among the prostitutes and strippers of my city.

However I received a pleasant surprise after I had finished my normal breakfast of an aspirin omelette and quart of black coffee. I logged on to the Internet to read my favorite blogs and news sites (always on the lookout for sermon material).

What did I see when I visited Hillbilly White Trash but that Lemuel Calhoon, the lord temporal of the mighty Hillbilly Ecosystem had anointed me, a humble street preacher, to the august position of Official Chaplain of the Hillbilly Ecosystem!

I assure all my followers that I shall discharge the responsibilities of my position with all the zeal and diligence required of such a high position.

In coming days I will post a fee schedule for the remission of sins. Of course the more heinous the sin the more expensive the absolution (business is business).